To never know
You haunt my dreams
The pads of your lips on mine
The tip of your finger down my spine
The passion in your eyes shines
You hair through my fingers
Your kiss on my neck
My arousal at your bidding
My smile in your head
The tangle of legs
As muscles move in time
Pushed to the side
The clothes, the sheets, the dread
The loss of dignity
Surrendering of pride
Slight rising of bile
As I dream to be your bride
But to the love I’ll never know
And for the ecstasy left unresolved
I leave you now my fair obsession
Of one favor I request:
You. Haunt my dreams.
Inspired by real life, naturally.
“Oooh! A spider, a spider!! It’s on my leg!” Leann shouted and squirmed in the driver’s seat of her old, rusting Cavalier.
“Just flick it off. Oh my god!” Her best friend, Josephine, admonished her from the passenger’s seat. “It’s just a little spider!”
“No, Jo! You don’t understand it’s — ”
“Curb!!” Jo shouted. “You moron! Forget the spider and watch the road!!”
“Sorry, but you don’t understand, it’s on my leg! It’s under my pants. I can’t feel it crawling anymore.”
“Oooh, well that is gross. You can’t feel it anymore.”
“No. Maybe it crawled out?” She looked hopeful so Jo squashed her.
“Well, that or it’s laying eggs inside you right now.”
“Oh my gosh! You are disgusting! Oooh, it is not!”
Jo just shrugs nonchalantly, hiding a grin. “I’m not sure how long it takes for spider eggs to hatch but your Mom will be a grandmother long before she expected, that’s for sure!”
“Shut up! Jo, you’re not funny! That’s just…ooh! I don’t even want to think about that.” Leann pulls into Jo’s driveway and brings the car to a stop.
“Well don’t say I didn’t warn you…” Jo gets up and out of the car, shuts the door but turns back to a glaring Leann through the open window. “Oh, congratulations, by the way. Do you want me to throw a baby shower or something?”
Leann shoves the car into reverse and squeals out of the driveway with a scowl and “Very funny!” streaming on the air behind her.
Tell me something I don’t already know. A truth.
Tell me something nobody else knows. A secret.
Tell me something nobody else tells me. A love.
Sometimes I get this feeling inside me.
It’s not really good or bad, it’s just a feeling.
Most of the time it goes away,
Sometimes it doesn’t.
Rarely do I ever let myself crush.
I like to think I’ve created a defense to such trivial matters.
It hurts just as much not to crush as it does when you do.
Rarely does it feel liberating.
There are times when I just want to cry,
When I so want to cry.
Sometimes when it seems like the way out,
A source of pity and concern from surrounding members.
There are never times when I just cry.
I hold it in,
I fight it out,
I don’t cry.
Not in front of you.
Why must life send these lemons my way without making appropriate provisions of water and sugar?
::None of these stanzas are necessarily connected. You can decide for yourself whether or not they should be. Just random poetic thoughts that sometimes come spilling from this brain of mine.
have you ever been overwhelmed with emotion?
drowning in your thoughts trying desperately to express them, to make them understand.
but you can’t.
in a world of mistakes
of deceit of hate.
when did we stop loving
when did the world become a chaos of days.
an endless cycle of the few searching for love and the many searching for nothing. just being.
am i growing up?
does everyone grow up?
people condemn and destroy.
the downfall of this great world and nation.
I hate feeling this way…
I’m not sure what this way is, but I hate it.
I wish I didn’t look this way.
This, this way, the way that I look.
Sometimes I know life has to be this way.
Sometimes I know life should be any other way than the way that it is, this way.
The rollercoaster of ups and downs through the dips and loops and sharp turns.
Is this the way? This way is how it’s meant to be?
Is there no level plane?
Rollercoasters take your breath away but the ride is over in seconds.
We need to breath. Without breath there is no life.
Perhaps that’s the key, this way, the way of life, it is a rollercoaster.
It takes your breath away quickly and leaves you struggling for air.
Is that the way? This way.
This can’t be the way.