My birthday is next week. And since I knew it wouldn’t be a particularly remarkable birthday with my husband away and only just starting to really develop close friendships here, I thought I would amp up the special-ness by doing a little something special every day of the month.
It sounds great, right? Almost lavish and extravagant. And completely narcissistic to celebrate the day of my birth for an entire thirty days. But it’s not as though I went out broadcasting my plan (until now) and I didn’t try to convince anyone to gift me anything. Some of them were simple, like taking a long, hot bath. Or leaving early enough for work to get coffee. Simple, right? And yet, not so simple.
This may sound strange, but I found that I had to force myself sometimes to do things that make me happy. Like, buying a new pair of jeans – I had to force myself to do this. Even though having jeans with a working zipper and no holes in the inner thighs would make me happy, trying jeans on in a dressing room in front of a full length mirror did not sound like a good time.
Or taking time out to write an actual blog post. Writing them makes me happy. Posting them makes me happy. But there’s the television and endless amounts of crap on-line to fill idle time. Mind you, sometimes shutting down in front of the TV or spending an hour scouring Pinterest can make me happy.
And so, I have been thinking about other things that make me happy – genuinely. But that I don’t do for one reason or another. Like, having a clean apartment makes me happy. But I don’t really like cleaning, so it’s usually messy. Buying new clothes that fit and look good and make me feel confident makes me happy. Trying things on and really, just spending money, does not. Cooking. I really enjoy it. But the grocery shopping before and the clean up after – meh.
So, in conclusion, I have all these simple things that make me happy and would improve my overall daily life, but I don’t do them. Why don’t I do them? Because they take a little bit of extra work, time, effort, money or planning. That just seems so… defeatist.
I am happy. I can be happier. And I’m going to start being it.