Finding Purpose

Sometimes the simple sound of rushing water can lift your heart, mind and spirit out of any depth of sadness.

We’ve been in Greensboro for over six weeks now. Lanre started classes and I have the watched the entirety of multiple television series on Hulu. With the exception of when I studied abroad, this is the longest I have ever been without employment since I graduated from high school. And after a short foray North for a wedding, I came back feeling purposeless. What did I need to come back for?

I have no job. I’m a mediocre homemaker (mostly because I don’t enjoy cleaning) and while I enjoy cooking, my first attempt at curry last night turned out less well than I’d hoped. And, to top it off, I watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy where someone dies at the end. It wasn’t a great set up to start a peppy little jigfountain.

Rather than let me wallow, Lanre made me leave the house – much to my resistance. But that left me sitting in City Center Park letting the sound of fountain fill my soul. And all was right in the world again.

All those things that made me feel sad are still there, but they don’t matter as much anymore. I am in control of my own happiness. It seems silly that something as fleeting as feelings, superficial as television, or fluid as water can have such a great effect on a person’s inner state.

At least now I know. The next time I’m feeling down I just need to get outside and find some water and the planets will realign – if not in my favor, at least on my peacefulness.

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